By Mari Payne, Deputy Managing Director and Senior Director Education and Programs at Sesame Workshop International, South Africa
Recent headlines in South Africa have been dominated by appalling cases of bullying in schools. Viral videos of ruthless attacks, and children experiencing physical and socio-emotional harm at the hands of their peers. These incidents have caused national outrage and calls for urgent action.
Let’s have a closer look at the foundations of bullying and the solutions.
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Research and teacher testimony from ECD centres and Foundation Phase classrooms show that bullying is not confined to older children. ECD Teachers report bullying, rejection, and physical aggression even among very young children. These behaviours disrupt learning and can leave lasting scars on young minds. The emotional price includes fear, anxiety, and learning and developmental gaps. These incidents are often underreported, and some teachers feel unsupported, calling for more parental involvement.
Academic research confirms that bullying can begin as early as preschool, with aggressive behaviours and peer victimisation observed in children as young as four (Saracho, 2017; Levine & Tamburrino, 2014). Early childhood, where 95% brain development happens and behaviour patterns are set, is a critical period for social and emotional development. Bullying at this stage can have long-lasting effects on children’s well-being and learning (Budiyanti & Slamet, 2023).
Science tells us that the first 2,000 days of life from conception to age five are when a child’s brain, values and attitudes and emotional patterns are formed. During this time, children learn what love, power, and peace look like, or, sadly, what fear and violence feel like. Trauma in early years can leave marks not just on the body, but on the mind and even the genetics of a child.
Epigenetics is the science of how our environment and experiences affect the way our genetic blueprint operates. For children, this means that experiences of nurturing care gentle voices, hugs, and affectionate routines can help their bodies and brains grow strong, smart and kind. Negative experiences like stress, abandonment, or violence can “switch on” or “switch off” certain genes. This exposes children to be more at risk to anxiety, aggression, or health problems later in life. The effects of bullying can last much longer than bruises or tears – they can shape how a child responds to stress and relates to others for life.
But, there is good news! Epigenetic changes are not always permanent. With love, support, and positive experiences, children can heal and thrive. It is within the power of parents and caregivers to help “reset” those switches by providing safe spaces, nutritious food, early learning experiences, responsive care, listening, and showing kindness every day.
Responsive care, gentle voices, safe arms and loving routines can heal and protect. But neglect, harsh discipline, or exposure to violence can set the stage for bullying and aggression later on in a child’s development (Smith & Pollak, 2020: Fan & Kang, 2025).
Combined research shows that positive, nurturing parenting is associated with lower rates of bullying and victimisation, while punitive parenting increases the risk of these behaviours (Chu & Chen, 2025; Chen, Zhu & Chui, 2020).
The South African Department of Basic Education’s Care and Support for Teaching and Learning (CSTL) framework and other resources – Bullying in schools, Violence free schools and the National School Safety Framework – provide valuable tools for educators. But these programmes work best when parents and caregivers are active partners in teaching empathy, modelling respect, and intervening early when signs of bullying appear.
To help create a safe, nurturing and responsive environment for children, consider these practical suggestions:
Talk about feelings and friendships: Help children name their emotions and resolve problems playfully and peacefully.
Model kindness and respect: Children learn by watching adults. Show them how to treat others with dignity and care.
Set clear boundaries: Teach children that bullying, physical or verbal, is never acceptable.
Work with teachers: Stay informed about your child’s behaviour at school and collaborate with educators to address concerns.
Seek help early: If your child is bullied or shows bullying behaviour, reach out for support, don’t wait for the problem to spiral.
The evidence is clear: violence and bullying are learned but so are peace and empathy. The first years are not just a window; they are the foundation for helping children feels safe, valued, and empowered to stand up or ask for help against bullying.
Let’s work together to break the cycle of violence and build a future where every child can grow smarter stronger and kinder. The change begins with you, right now
